Always look on the bright side of life

Well, it's official. My husband now has an apartment in OKC. While he has been living down there for some time now, it was only after he got an actual address that made it feel really REAL. It has been hard living alone in this big house. While I have developed a routine and have gotten used to it, it has not become any easier. I miss him terribly on an hourly basis. Thank god I have a job that I really enjoy. While I miss him constantly, its great to have something to do that lowers the awareness of the situation. If only briefly. Oddly enough, this is the first time I have ever lived alone. What kind of Karmic bullshit is this??? Of all the people I have lived with in the past, THIS man of mine is the one I never want to be apart from. Steph, my best friend, joked the other day "Why couldn't your ex-husband have had a job like this?" I still laugh at this. We probably would have gotten along better if he had just been away. LOL.

But I digress. I love my husband and would not go back to the time I didn't have him in my life for all the money in the world. It's simply tragic irony that we are not together. There have been times when I have really felt sorry for myself. This is no easy task, as I have never been any good at self pity. I always try to find examples of why I should be glad "At least I'm not THAT guy." This situation has proven to be no different. My latest reality check came to me yesterday. I had a customer in my store whose husband is in Iraq. I thought to myself. "At least I KNOW Beau and I will be together again."

There are hundreds of men and women whose loved ones are in Iraq, and there is no guarantee that those people will come home. My heart broke for her. Though she had a smile on her face, and seemed to be in a good mood. Inside I was thinking that she must worry all the time. I have always been the one to point out, that "Its all relative." Now, I'm not so sure. For her, knowing that at any moment "They" could show up at her door is far more stressful than not knowing when my house will sell. Also, recently my best friend lost his mother to sudden heart failure. I have nothing to compare this to. I cannot begin, nor would I presume, to act as though I understand how he feels. Perhaps it is a sign of some of the wisdom that comes with age. But, I look at situations like this, and realize, this isn't relativity, it's reality. Or perhaps it is simply that I have developed more empathy as I have gotten older. Either way, I try to remind myself that this is temporary, and that when all is said and done, our lives will be better.

I love you Beau.
Ciao, peeps...until next time.