Did I tell you?

We kept the little dude. We renamed him though, well the husband did. He called him "Buddy". He pretty much wriggled his way into our hearts, and found a way to stay. Even I think 4 cats is too many!! But oh well. He is a warm and welcome addition to the family and we love him very much.

Georgestein update

The little schmoops is doing really well. He had his bandages finally removed yesterday (Thursday) and has gotten a good bill of health. Dr. Cowell wants to keep him on his antibiotics for 2 more weeks. Just to err on the side of caution. Other than that,his leg looks a bazillion times better. He is scheduled to get his butter beans removed next week, and to get all his vaccinations.

I have to admit, the little sombitch has worked his way into my heart. Damnit!! I can't have 4 cats!! ***sigh***

Happy Valentines day

Beau, Steph, Lashell, Lynette, Heather, Shandi, Nathan, Lauren, Asher, Nathan, Joel, Jayce, Allen, Jaeson, Micah, James, Jan, Joshua, Robert, Rhonda, David, Lisa, Kari-Anne, Jackie, Paul, Karma, Terry, Morgan, Alvin, Megan, Quinn, Eric, George, Cteev, Dan, Debbie, Bob SK, Steve, Sharon, Kathy, Emerald..... and so many others. The way I see it, once love is put out there, it's out there forever.

Hope today and everyday is filled with love of every kind.

I notice.

My house is a-glow with Christmas. We have a sweet little "deer scene", on our front yard. We also have some awesome fun twinkly lights running along the top of our house. Why do I mention this? Because while Lashell, Morgan and I were baking our fingers away to make gifts for our respective offices, my darling Angel was crawling on the house hanging lights.

It's not that he hates Christmas, he just doesn't get into it as much as I do. But, there he was, climbing around on the roof, hanging lights and coordinating the "twinkles" just for me.

He did all this for me. What a beautiful and sweet gift he gave me. He not only crawled around on the roof to get the lights up, he also took his whole weekend off to do it.

I love him so much, and I am so grateful to him for what he did for me.
I love you so much Angel.
I notice.

2nd Anniversary

Today is the 2nd year anniversary of the day I married Beau. We can't be together today, but I wrote him a poem as a gift. I hope he doesn't mind, but I thought I would share it with you.

As I look back at my future,
What did I see
Through the eyes of a child
I wondered "What would I be?"
And who was the man
That would steal my heart?
Who would love me right from the start?
I will love him and he'll feel the same
He will protect me and I'll take his name.
But children grow up and dreams fade away
Thoughts of my future lost along the way.
I got to a place
In my heart and my head
That love was a dream
Long past and long dead
So I closed my eyes on that child's dream come true
Til the day they were opened by the wonder of you.
All that I lost
All I thought I had missed
I found once again
In the truth of your kiss
Years have gone by
as we've shared our life
You are now my husband
and I am your wife
As I look back at my future
What did I see?
The love in your eyes as you look back at me.

I hope you all enjoyed it as much as he did.

Always look on the bright side of life

Well, it's official. My husband now has an apartment in OKC. While he has been living down there for some time now, it was only after he got an actual address that made it feel really REAL. It has been hard living alone in this big house. While I have developed a routine and have gotten used to it, it has not become any easier. I miss him terribly on an hourly basis. Thank god I have a job that I really enjoy. While I miss him constantly, its great to have something to do that lowers the awareness of the situation. If only briefly. Oddly enough, this is the first time I have ever lived alone. What kind of Karmic bullshit is this??? Of all the people I have lived with in the past, THIS man of mine is the one I never want to be apart from. Steph, my best friend, joked the other day "Why couldn't your ex-husband have had a job like this?" I still laugh at this. We probably would have gotten along better if he had just been away. LOL.

But I digress. I love my husband and would not go back to the time I didn't have him in my life for all the money in the world. It's simply tragic irony that we are not together. There have been times when I have really felt sorry for myself. This is no easy task, as I have never been any good at self pity. I always try to find examples of why I should be glad "At least I'm not THAT guy." This situation has proven to be no different. My latest reality check came to me yesterday. I had a customer in my store whose husband is in Iraq. I thought to myself. "At least I KNOW Beau and I will be together again."

There are hundreds of men and women whose loved ones are in Iraq, and there is no guarantee that those people will come home. My heart broke for her. Though she had a smile on her face, and seemed to be in a good mood. Inside I was thinking that she must worry all the time. I have always been the one to point out, that "Its all relative." Now, I'm not so sure. For her, knowing that at any moment "They" could show up at her door is far more stressful than not knowing when my house will sell. Also, recently my best friend lost his mother to sudden heart failure. I have nothing to compare this to. I cannot begin, nor would I presume, to act as though I understand how he feels. Perhaps it is a sign of some of the wisdom that comes with age. But, I look at situations like this, and realize, this isn't relativity, it's reality. Or perhaps it is simply that I have developed more empathy as I have gotten older. Either way, I try to remind myself that this is temporary, and that when all is said and done, our lives will be better.

I love you Beau.
Ciao, peeps...until next time.

The most bogus of holidays, and my first night alone

Well, it's Columbus day. What a joke!!! Just another excuse to close banks and Govt. institutions.

So, I made it through the first night without my Angel. I didn't sleep well and every little noise had me sitting up in bed. But, its morning and all is well. Thankfully I have a job to go to, if nothing else but to occupy my time. This next weekend will be the hardest. I am off the whole weekend and will be home with nothing to do and no one to talk to, except the cat and dog. I am hoping I will get "the phone call" today and get this damned house under contract. Although, the last couple to look at it didn't seem too excited and didn't stay very long. If nothing gives here pretty soon, we may have to break down and list it with a realtor. We really don't want to have to do that though, as it is a waste of money. Selling agents are bogus!!! An agent wouldn't really do anymore than we already have. But, we will see I guess. Like everything in life, we just have to be patient. Not an easy task.

Weel, I gots ta git ta werk. I will try to write more often. Beau, if you are reading this... I love you and I miss you sooo much.

Expanding the family

Upon much discussion and a few tears, my husband and I have decided to start trying to get pregnant in May of this year. There are many factors regarding this decision. One of them being that if I get preg in May or June, then I won't be going through hot flashes and shit like that in the middle of the hottest summer months. Also, this will give me time to begin to prepare my body, taking the proper vitamins, getting some exersize and hopefully shedding a few pounds. All of which will help to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Also this would mean the baby would arrive in a bout a year from now. Time to get finances under control and to do research on daycare etc...

Whew, there sure is a lot to think about. My age is a consideration as well, no matter how perfect everything goes, I am considered high risk simply for being over 35. As well as having been diagnosed with uterine fibroid tumors a few years ago. Luckily the little buggers are on the outside of the uterus. This drops the chances of complications by like 75 to 80%. I'm not saying they are not a concern, but I do think I am more concerned than I need to be. I have an appointment with a new OB/GYN next month. Hopefully she will be able to let me know exactly what my concerns should be and get me going on what to do about them. There is no cure for these little bastards, but there are certain kinds of therapies available. More than likely we will just leave them be.

The more I think about all this, the more excited I get. I knew almost from the moment I met Beau that I wanted to have his child. Something I never thought I wanted before. I know now that it wasn't that I didn't want to have kids, but that I didn't want to have kids with Michael (thats the ex). It's funny how being with the right person makes all the difference in the world. I love my husband so much, and having a baby with him is just another way for us to share our love. The love we have for one another is abundant, and there is more than enough to share. Our little love cups overfloweth like crazy! I imagine that with a child in our family, we will be swimming in all that beautiful squishy green love goo. LOL Nice visual huh??