Wow... I have been away

So I have been away for some time now. Last time I posted I had mentioned the possible acquisition of a franchise. Well, we didn't do it. The company that owns and operated these franchises, are... well... not to be trusted. After much deliberation, INTIMIDATION, (yes, they are mafia like) and sleepless nights, we finally said "Thanks but no thanks".

Much has changed since then. Beau, is still unemployed, but we seem to manage. He is being considered for quite a few affluent companies. Meanwhile, he is taking some classes to help him further his career.

On the home front, I have been adopted by a yellow tabby cat that we have decided to name George. He is just a sweetie and I love him to bits. But I cannot bring him indoors. I keep him, (and his brood) fed and watered, and I sneak in a flea treatment once a month. I know he really wants to come in, but I already have my hands full with 3. Anyway (and you Cat people will understand) the other day, George brought me a bird he had caught. I was so crushed and moved that I almost cried. It's official... George has accepted me as his own.

On another note, I turned 40 a couple of weeks ago. My husband worked his ass odd to throw me the most wonderful party. We were all dressed to the hilt and Beau made a gorgeous spread of yums. There were a few bumpy moments, but all in all it was an awesome and unforgettable night.

I always say that I will try to write more, and I swear this is true, but at the moment my life is insane and ridiculous. I am sure I have lost many of my readers. That sucks. I need to be here more.

Ciao

OK OK...

So I now have people threatening me to post something new. So here it is. Heh.

Let's see, Christmas was awesome. The hubby and I really tried to outspoil one another this year. I got him an X-Box 360 and he got me a new computer and a replica 1930's style stereo with a turntable! Yay! So I dragged out all of my old waxy love and have been having a blast reliving the past.

No New Years resolutions for me, I only break them.

OK, so much for the catch-up. You see, my life isn't all that interesting. Well, maybe it is to me SOMEtimes, but I really don't think it is all that interesting to other people. Maybe I am wrong. (Please feel free to be honest. Heh, like any of you would flatter me. LOL)

Have to run an errand, brb.

Ok, back. I had to visit a client. On the way back I stopped at a local bakery, Red Rock Bakery, and got a tea and this chocolate yum yum from hell. Oh man. It's so freakin good.

Well, I hope this makes you happy. Hehe. Tonight I have a dinner meeting with the Stillwater Young Professionals Association. Should be interesting. I'm ordering steak.

Well, the boss just walked in and I need to split.
I will try to post more often OK!!??
Sheesh

More medical crapiola

I have yet another follow up on my toes today. They are healing but very VERY slowly. I was thinking about them last night. I am so used to caring for them and being conscious of them, that I don't know if I will ever be normal again. I mean, am I going to roll up my pants leg to get me feet in for the rest of my life? When walking about barefoot, will I always attempt to point my big toes skyward? Will I always be acutely aware of how close someone is standing in proximity to my feet? I don't know, but it sure is getting old.

On another note, I am meeting with a Diabetic Educator this afternoon. I am looking forward to this as I have no idea what I am doing. As far as my diet is concerned, all I know to do is to cut out the obvious. Sugar, pasta, white bread etc... But other than that I am floundering. It's a good thing I like salad. Right now I am enjoying a breakfast bowl from Carl's Jr. that Lashell was good enough to get for me. It's like a breakfast sandwich without the bread. Don't get me wrong, it's good, but, it's no sammich. *sigh*.

But, I digress, it could be much worse. While diabetes is a life-long disease, it is also a controllable one and I will live a long, happy life with a few modifications and some meds. I seriously need to get off my big, fat, white ass and do some exercise. I really want to start walking, but I cannot get into my walking shoes with my damned toes like this. I know it sounds like an excuse, but my feet get really sore and tired if I try to walk in these sandals I have been wearing. Bleh... I need to stop complaining!!

Update and my apologies

I am so sorry I have been so lax on my blog. Since I have started on at the employment agency, I have been very busy. I love my job. No REALLY, I love my job. I get to meet new people every single day, and I have the opportunity to change lives. When one thinks of occupations that make an impact on people, most of us immediately think of nurses, doctors, policemen, firemen.... you get the drift. It never occurred to me to think of a staffing consultant. It may not be glamorous. It may not be too terribly exciting. But I have the responsibility of placing the right person in the right job. I get to be the person who helps put the food on others tables. It's what I have always wanted to do. Make a difference. I have had jobs that I have loved, but those jobs were, well, jobs. This "job" is probably going to be my career. Unless something drastic happens, I can see myself doing this for a very long time. This is how I am going to make a difference. I get to give people second chances. I get to go to work everyday knowing that someone just like me, will have a job tomorrow.

I have to give you a great example. I interviewed a guy yesterday. We will call him "TJ". He had gotten himself into some trouble and was just released from prison. You all know the story. 25 years old, black male, busted for drugs. Seems like an obvious "red flag", but I got to talking with this kid. I mean really talk to him. He is so committed to cleaning up his life. He is really committed to cleaning up his life. All he wants is for someone to give him another shot. I get to be the person that does that. I signed him on and put him to work. General labor, but he has a job. I can sleep at night, knowing that I was able to help this person take care of his family. Anyway, I don't want to make this all about my job, but that has been my focus for so long that I almost don't know what else to say.

Oh but I will.

Barring any unforeseen circumstances, my parents will be here around the 10th of August. I can't wait. I went home to Cali last summer, but it's been more than a decade since mom and dad have come to see me. I am very excited. I will let you know if, and when. Meantime, I will try to be more communicative here.

Always look on the bright side of life

Well, it's official. My husband now has an apartment in OKC. While he has been living down there for some time now, it was only after he got an actual address that made it feel really REAL. It has been hard living alone in this big house. While I have developed a routine and have gotten used to it, it has not become any easier. I miss him terribly on an hourly basis. Thank god I have a job that I really enjoy. While I miss him constantly, its great to have something to do that lowers the awareness of the situation. If only briefly. Oddly enough, this is the first time I have ever lived alone. What kind of Karmic bullshit is this??? Of all the people I have lived with in the past, THIS man of mine is the one I never want to be apart from. Steph, my best friend, joked the other day "Why couldn't your ex-husband have had a job like this?" I still laugh at this. We probably would have gotten along better if he had just been away. LOL.

But I digress. I love my husband and would not go back to the time I didn't have him in my life for all the money in the world. It's simply tragic irony that we are not together. There have been times when I have really felt sorry for myself. This is no easy task, as I have never been any good at self pity. I always try to find examples of why I should be glad "At least I'm not THAT guy." This situation has proven to be no different. My latest reality check came to me yesterday. I had a customer in my store whose husband is in Iraq. I thought to myself. "At least I KNOW Beau and I will be together again."

There are hundreds of men and women whose loved ones are in Iraq, and there is no guarantee that those people will come home. My heart broke for her. Though she had a smile on her face, and seemed to be in a good mood. Inside I was thinking that she must worry all the time. I have always been the one to point out, that "Its all relative." Now, I'm not so sure. For her, knowing that at any moment "They" could show up at her door is far more stressful than not knowing when my house will sell. Also, recently my best friend lost his mother to sudden heart failure. I have nothing to compare this to. I cannot begin, nor would I presume, to act as though I understand how he feels. Perhaps it is a sign of some of the wisdom that comes with age. But, I look at situations like this, and realize, this isn't relativity, it's reality. Or perhaps it is simply that I have developed more empathy as I have gotten older. Either way, I try to remind myself that this is temporary, and that when all is said and done, our lives will be better.

I love you Beau.
Ciao, peeps...until next time.

The written word, and other stuff

I have been reading a lot lately, mostly to pass the time but also because I truly love to read and have made so many excuses not to the last few years or so. I have read the occasional crotch novel now and then (4 Harlequins in an afternoon while having a garage sale), but I wanted to get back into reading books with a bit more intelligence. I finally went and purchased myself a copy of "The Good Earth" by Pearl S. Buck. To be honest, I have sort of put off reading this particular novel as I know there would be a great deal of past life flashbacks. And I wasn't sure I would be ready for some of them. Also, I have what I call "P.N.D." post novel depression. I get so close to the people I am reading about, that when I am finished with a really great book, I miss those people so terribly. This book was no exception. I usually wait sometime before getting into another novel, but I decided to pick up another anyway.

I am now reading The Da Vinci Code. I started it yesterday and about halfway through. I LOVE THIS BOOK!!! Besides loving a good mystery, I am intrigued by the factual data conveyed in the story. Also, I really appreciate the fact that one must possess a higher than average intelligence to truly understand and enjoy this book. I found out today that the movie is in the works. Ron Howard director and Tom Hanks is slated to play the lead. To be released sometime in 2006. I look forward to seeing how well such an intricate story will convey to the big screen.

I have found a lot of time to read, because at the moment I am living alone. Beau is now officially living and working in OK. He moved down there near the end of November. Needless to say this has been hard. He has been down there for the most part since the end of October. Staying for 2 weeks, home for a week. Then staying for 3 weeks, home for a week. But as of the 1st of December he had officially begun his duties in his new position in OKC. Being apart from one another has been very very difficult. But, the upswing of this, is that we really miss one another. That sounds crazy, but think about it. So, I fill my free time with cleaning house, playing with the dog, playing trivia games on mIRC and now, reading. The latter being the most enjoyable. Thank goddess I have a job that I really like. Not just for finances, but to fill most of my days.

Thats about all the update I can muster right now.
I love you Beau.

Long overdue update

Well, here it is mid October and I am just getting around to posting again. Hard to know where to begin really.

Since I lost my job in March I have been on unemployment. I had been seeking employment here in the Leavenworth area, but could find nothing that would pay enough for us to live on. Sometime in June, Beau and I began to toy with the idea of moving to Oklahoma. It wasn't really meant to be a serious discussion. Just more of a passing comment. But, just for gits and shiggles, Beau talked to one of his bosses about their Oklahoma offices and would there be any work for him down there. Again, not really expecting a serious discussion. But lo and behold, it just so happened that the District Supervisor for the OK offices had just been fired and they needed a good replacement. Really?? Hmmm. "What are the chances you would consider me?"

Turns out the chances were better than good and the higher ups were absolutely thrilled about the prospect. They have a great deal of respect and admiration for him and just about jumped at the chance. So, ok... now we really ARE moving to OK. My best friend and his family live in Stillwater OK (Which is what prompted the first discussion to begin with.) So, it only made sense for us, that if we are moving all the way to OK, living in Stillwater was the only way to go. So we put the house up for sale and set out to find a new house in Stillwater. That was the beginning of August. Since then we have packed up most of our stuff, gotten rid of our sofa and loveseat and crossed our fingers everyday that this would be the day we got "the phonecall". We have had several people looking, but so far no reasonable offers. We have done a lot of painting and redoing of floors and general maintenance to make the place more appealing, but so far, the right people have not found the house yet. Or the house has not, as of yet, found them.

Upon our trip to Stillwater in August, we found the house of our dreams. (Well, of the the small reasonable realistic dreams anyway.) It is a really cool looking 2 bedroom 4 bath (yes, I said 4), with a kitchen to die for and 424 square feet of mostly unfinished space upstairs. I know this sounds more like a nightmare than a dream, but thee is just something about this house that we fell head over heels in love with. The snag, we have to get our house sold before we can even think about bidding. Or otherwise put in a Contingent upon sale clause in the contract.

Well after we got home, we deliberated, and decided to go ahead and put in the contingency bid. So I called our realtor, she got the paperwork together, we sent the earnest check and not 2 seconds after pushing the send button on her fax machine to send us the contract, her colleague walked into her office and stated "Oh, did you hear, that house on Will Rogers just went under contingency." We had been snaked out!!!!!! By another contingent!!! *sigh*

Broken hearted and with tears in my eyes, I called Beau and told him of this. Oh well, to be honest, we really needed that $500.00 earnest money to pay bills anyway. But, that was so not the point. Looking back, it would not have worked anyway, as here we are 2 full months later and still no offers on our current home.

Oh but wait there's more! About 2 weeks ago or so, I got an email from our OK realtor. "There were some title problems with the house you guys wanted, and the buyers cannot wait for them to fix it. They backed out. The current owners are going to get the problem fixed before they put it back on the market." The house is waiting for US!!! This is the second time a buyer has backed out. So the house KNOWS who is supposed to live there!! But, we are still in the same boat, "no selly no buyee". But, the traffic of lookers has picked up significantly. I suppose it is just a matter of time before the house picks its new owners.

Meantime, Beau's bosses need him to start work, so they have sent him to OK for 2 weeks. 2 WHOLE WEEKS!!! They made arrangements for a hotel, and he can visit with our friends on the weekend. That way he won't get too lonely and he can do his laundry too. But I hate this. He left this morning at 10. I didn't think I was going to, but as soon as he drove away, I started to cry. I am going to miss him so much. Luckily I have returned to working. I got a job a couple of weeks ago, just in the nick of time as my unemployment ran out. I sell carpet. I really enjoy this job too, which kinda sux because I know I cannot keep it. Oh well. We do what we gotta do in this life to take care of ourselves.

One more thing before I sign off. We got a dog. A miniature Beagle. We call her Daisy. She will be a great companion for me until my Angel comes home. Everyone, continue to send out good vibes that this house will find its new owners soon. I can't deal with this limbo shit anymore.We just want to be able to move on with our lives. It that too much to ask??!

An Update

I know it has been a long time since my last post. Since I was fired, I have found myself a bit withdrawn. I think if it wasn't for the Wellbutrin I may have become agoraphobic. I found that I didn't want to go out in public, for fear that everyone that I saw would know that I was fired. Weird, I know, and I keep telling my rational self that "these people don't even know me!" and who cares if they do.

Anyway, my unemployment has finally kicked in, and I am getting $$ every week. I am getting but a smidgen less than I did while I was working at ACME. So, it's all good. For now. I know that I will have to go back the the grind someday, but I don't see anything wrong with enjoying the time off I have now. I really LOVE being a housewife. (Good god!! Did I say that??) But truly, I love taking care of my house and my husband. I get all the laundry done, I make his lunches and dinner is waiting for him when he gets home. ( Oh my gawd, I AM sick!!) :-) I never knew I was so traditional. It's quite amazing. I do admit that there are times when I am lonely and bored here alone all day, I am hoping I can find some kind of hobby to keep me occupied during the day. My dear friend Debbie suggested bowling the other day, and there is a bowling alley really close to our house. I LOVE bowling, but Beau is not fond of it, so maybe this would be a great opp for me to take it up again. Anyway, I wanted to keep you all updated on stuff, and to let you know that I am doing OK.

My good friend Steph has said that he wants to come up and stay a weekend next month, so I am looking forward to that. It will be WAY, to be able to just blow it out.