The Axe Falleth

Well, I went into work yesterday after having been gone Monday and Tuesday due to what I can only describe to you as a severe cold (still sick as a dog I might add), and much to my surprise, The LongBob fired me. I cannot express to you my shock!! I couldn't even say a word. I just stared at him blankly for a few seconds and then proceeded to pack up my stuff. I never in a million saw this coming. I know he did this because I had already told him I was quitting. My 2 day absence was just his perfect excuse.

He said "When you aren't here, Nicole has to pick up your slack." He said more but to be honest with you, I don't remember what he said as I was locked into some strange surreal world at the time. I am still in shock I think, but it is beginning to wear off.

Beau pointed out yesterday, "How stupid, if Nicole has to work harder because you aren't there, how much harder will she have to work now?" Good point. I can assure you though, that Nicole had nothing to do with this. Its his M.O. He wants me to think that Nicole complained. He won't come right out and say that, because it isn't true, but he wanted to insinuate this nonetheless. Makes it easier on him to think it was someone else's problem, not that he is just a 2 faced invertebrate.

Here are the real reasons he fired me:

1. I'm quitting anyway and he thinks people that quit are somehow betraying him. (I have known him long enough to know this to be true)
2. Even if I wasn't leaving, he know I am planning on getting pregnant. Something he sees as a bother.
3. Quarterly bonuses are due, and why give a bonus to someone who is leaving.

Those are the big 3. I don't want any of you thinking I am making any of this up. I will be the first one to 'fess up when I fuck up. I am not saying I was perfect, we all make mistakes. But I never gave him good reason to let me go. I have been there for almost 4 years. I have seen what he does to his employees when he percieves them as a threat or a traitor. I have heard the things he says behind the backs of others. He will tell outright lies to co-workers in an attempt to make some poor unsuspecting person look like a common idiot, or to insinuate laziness, or even attempt to convince another person that they have been "wronged" in some way. Its craziness!!

You have all probably known someone like this in your life. As easy going and nice as can be when you are in the room, and then slams you to others as soon as you turn your back. All I have ever asked of him is that he come to ME if he has a problem with something I am doing. But he refuses. He tells others in the office, hoping they will say something to me. He has done the same to me, telling me about how so and so needs to shape up, or whatever. But never telling so and so anything. How are we supposed to know how to better ourselves if we don't know we are making mistakes???? Its sooooooo fucking stupid!!! He knows I have house payments, bills etc... But no compassion. How does he sleep at night?

So, I'm freaking out a little bit. My pendulum swinging sharply between relief and anxiety. It's no secret I wanted out of there. But I wanted that decision to be on my terms. I guess he couldn't handle that either. I have applied for unemployment. I did that first thing, but that takes like 4 weeks to kick in. But, as I am going through my bills and shit, it will be tight, but we will be ok. My final check from ACME goes through tomorrow, as well as Beaus check. We still have a little bit in savings, and I just got off the phone with Beau who informed me that he got Senior Agent of the Month for February, and that comes with a bonus.

We are quitting smoking soon, which will save us quite a bit per month, and I am not driving 66 miles a day, which will save in gas ($1.72 per gallon here now!). By the end of four weeks I will either be drawing unemployment, or I will once again have a paycheck. Right now I have to get over this bad nasty head cold. So I am planning on getting as much rest as I can and doing some stuff around the house that I have not had time for. So don't worry, we will be fine. I just wanted to let y'all know what was happening.

Rocky Mountain High

I had a conversation yesterday with a co-worker who is planning a vacation to Colorado this summer. I started telling her about all the wonderful things to do and see. I realized about 5 minutes into the conversation that I had actually sort of perked up when I was talking about it. I guess I hadn't really realized how much I loved living there. Or how much I missed it. I found myself saying out loud, "Jeez, one would wonder why I ever left".

The reason I did leave was that at the time, I had nothing to stay there for. My now ex-husband and I had split up, my best friend Steph had moved back to California and I was working at McDonald's, which was hardly a career. So, I up and moved to Kansas with a girl I knew and we got an apartment in Overland Park, Kansas. It was cheaper to live here and I knew a few people out here. So at the time it made sense.

Of course, the REAL reason I moved here was to meet the love of my life. Though I didn't know it at the time. Now, several years later, the love of my life and I are now married and have bought a house. So I guess we really did put down roots here. I don't mind Kansas too much. Though we have very few friends here, (good friends!) and there is nothing of beauty to reference to. What I mean by that, is that in California we had the beaches and the mountains, in Colorado there is of course the Rocky Mountains, not to mention all the great tangible history that resides all around you.

This morning on the way to work while surfing the stations on my stereo, there was some redneck proclaiming in a loud voice, "2nd annual cow pie tossing contest and barn dance!!" The first words out of my mouth were "Holy crap, what the f%^$ am I DOING here???!! I love my house, and I love the life that my husband and I are building together, but more and more I find myself not wanting to be in Kansas.

It is not my intention to insult anyone who is from Kansas. It has it's good points, just like anywhere, and it has it's bad points, just like anywhere. But I don't belong here. I don't belong in a place where every other radio station is country music. I don't belong in a place that broadcasts Christian "services" on the #1 rock and roll station on Sunday mornings. I don't belong in a Republican conservative state that tells me I cannot buy beer on Sundays (yes, yes, I know it is changing, but it should have NEVER been a law to begin with.) I don't belong in a state where tractor pulls are the best thing happening on a Saturday afternoon and cow pie tossing contests, well, where cow pie tossing contests even EXIST! Like I said, no offense to anyone who grew up here, but this is just not who I am.

Perhaps this is a mood that will pass. This time of year always makes me think of home. Cool breezy evenings sitting around the fire pit in my friend's back yard, drinking wine and indulging in nature's herb. Singing silly songs without the thought that it would ever end. Or the days that The Berg and I would drive to Boulder to drink beer at one of the many sidewalk cafes, and people watch. Oh we had so much fun.

So as I write this, I am struck with a thought that perhaps, and probably, it is not the places I am missing, but the people. I miss my friends. I miss the weekends that turned into weeks. I miss Cteev farting on my head. I miss Lisa and I getting together for our candy buffet. I miss Dave Reeds big cheesy grin. I miss Paul Boat's droll sense of humor. (It's just not the same in an e-mail.) I miss being able to jump in my car and be at Berg's house in 20 minutes. *Sigh* I hope you will forgive my lamenting. More of a rambling I guess, just to get this out of my head. Anyway, this too, like all things, shall pass.

Another Fart Poem - this one by Me

A fart is like a tiny cloud,

A cloud of love that you can share;

Somtimes it sneaks out silently,

and lingers in the air.

A fart is like a special gift,

For your friends all tried and true;

Sometimes it makes a mighty blast,
and makes your face turn blue.

A fart is like an in-law

That shows up without letting you know;

It feels good when it gets here,

But you're glad to see it go.

A fart is like the morning dew,

As it glistens on the grass;

Cuz if you aren't careful,

It could end up on your ass.

Debzville

3-09-04

A fart poem by anonymous

A fart can be quiet,

A fart can be loud,

Some leave a powerful,

Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,

Or a fart can be long,

Some farts have been known,

To sound just like a song.

Some farts do not smell,

While others are vile,

A fart may pass quickly,

Or linger awhile.

A fart can create

A most curious medley,

A fart can be harmless,

Or silent, but deadly.

A fart can occur

In a number of places,

And leave everyone

With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairies,

To small elevators,

A fart will find all of us

Sooner or later.

So be not afraid

Of the invisible gas,

For always remember,

That farts, too, shall pass.