I had a conversation yesterday with a co-worker who is planning a vacation to Colorado this summer. I started telling her about all the wonderful things to do and see. I realized about 5 minutes into the conversation that I had actually sort of perked up when I was talking about it. I guess I hadn't really realized how much I loved living there. Or how much I missed it. I found myself saying out loud, "Jeez, one would wonder why I ever left".
The reason I did leave was that at the time, I had nothing to stay there for. My now ex-husband and I had split up, my best friend Steph had moved back to California and I was working at McDonald's, which was hardly a career. So, I up and moved to Kansas with a girl I knew and we got an apartment in Overland Park, Kansas. It was cheaper to live here and I knew a few people out here. So at the time it made sense.
Of course, the REAL reason I moved here was to meet the love of my life. Though I didn't know it at the time. Now, several years later, the love of my life and I are now married and have bought a house. So I guess we really did put down roots here. I don't mind Kansas too much. Though we have very few friends here, (good friends!) and there is nothing of beauty to reference to. What I mean by that, is that in California we had the beaches and the mountains, in Colorado there is of course the Rocky Mountains, not to mention all the great tangible history that resides all around you.
This morning on the way to work while surfing the stations on my stereo, there was some redneck proclaiming in a loud voice, "2nd annual cow pie tossing contest and barn dance!!" The first words out of my mouth were "Holy crap, what the f%^$ am I DOING here???!! I love my house, and I love the life that my husband and I are building together, but more and more I find myself not wanting to be in Kansas.
It is not my intention to insult anyone who is from Kansas. It has it's good points, just like anywhere, and it has it's bad points, just like anywhere. But I don't belong here. I don't belong in a place where every other radio station is country music. I don't belong in a place that broadcasts Christian "services" on the #1 rock and roll station on Sunday mornings. I don't belong in a Republican conservative state that tells me I cannot buy beer on Sundays (yes, yes, I know it is changing, but it should have NEVER been a law to begin with.) I don't belong in a state where tractor pulls are the best thing happening on a Saturday afternoon and cow pie tossing contests, well, where cow pie tossing contests even EXIST! Like I said, no offense to anyone who grew up here, but this is just not who I am.
Perhaps this is a mood that will pass. This time of year always makes me think of home. Cool breezy evenings sitting around the fire pit in my friend's back yard, drinking wine and indulging in nature's herb. Singing silly songs without the thought that it would ever end. Or the days that The Berg and I would drive to Boulder to drink beer at one of the many sidewalk cafes, and people watch. Oh we had so much fun.
So as I write this, I am struck with a thought that perhaps, and probably, it is not the places I am missing, but the people. I miss my friends. I miss the weekends that turned into weeks. I miss Cteev farting on my head. I miss Lisa and I getting together for our candy buffet. I miss Dave Reeds big cheesy grin. I miss Paul Boat's droll sense of humor. (It's just not the same in an e-mail.) I miss being able to jump in my car and be at Berg's house in 20 minutes. *Sigh* I hope you will forgive my lamenting. More of a rambling I guess, just to get this out of my head. Anyway, this too, like all things, shall pass.
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8 comments:
CO rules
I miss Colorado too, but it was impossible to make friends there. Don't know why. If you hadn't been there, I would have been miserable. Boulder was a hoot, but I miss My Brother's Bar most of all when spring and summer approach.
When we move to Tulsa this summer, the only demand I'm making is that we have a fenced back yard -- and not one of those damned "Good Neighbor" fences. I want a privacy fence, preferably a wall like I had in Camarillo. We have no yard here (lots of grass, but no yard) and I hate it!
Actually, I'd move back to CO before CA...IF we had the money to buy a bunch of acres, where you and Beau could build a house too. I always liked Mike's idea of a "compound" with a Town Hall Pub.
Yeah, I think I would too. I truly had forgotten how much I loved it there.
I wish we had the $$ to go back to CO. But the cost of living there is nearly as high as in CA now. If you-know-who hadn't have sold her house to the Three-Toed Sloth and her husband we could move up there more easily. But that's all in the past now. We have to make the best of the situation we've got and at this point, the best option for us is Tulsa.
Yeah i hear ya Nettl. But you know, there is always KC!
:-)
Don't think we haven't considered KC, but my father and stepmother are in Tulsa. We do have lots of friends in Tulsa and I stand a much better chance of singing with the Tulsa opera than with any opera in KC. I stand a much better chance of building a voice studio in Tulsa as well. There are a lot of considerations and when we weighed them out, Tulsa tipped the scales considerably, financially and in every other way.
*sigh* Oh I knew you had thought of it. But a girl can dream. Besides, Tulsa is a good 2 hours or more closer than Stoolwater. That really makes more weekenders possible. Honesly, as much as I would love to have you here, all I ever wish for is your happiness and success in whatever you wish to do. If that means living in Tulsa, then Tulsa it is. I wish you all the best!!!
You know how much I love ya!
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