What am I doing here?

I was watching the Food Network last night. Alton Brown hosting a show called "Kitchens of the Future". It was a pretty cool show. Lots of cool fun gadgets that may or may not actually hit the market. Some of them were just lame. Like a spoon that tells you when something is sweet or sour etc... How stupid is that? I mean seriously folks, just taste it. Anyway, after that was over I left it on FN.

Rachael Ray was going to Santa Barbara, California. She visited places I had been to. Santa Barbara Seafood Company on the SB pier and Cold Springs Tavern, a biker bar and grill nestled in the hills. I was becoming very homesick. My hometown of Oxnard is a mere 40 minute drive south, and a Saturday afternoon drive into SB was something I enjoyed on several occasions.

After that show, the next episode had Rachael venturing into Los Angeles and surrounding areas. They went by Neptune's Net in Malibu. (Best clam chowder on the west coast.) Then she went to The Inn of the Seventh Ray, a vegetarian restaurant that my ex and I frequented in Topanga.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life here. My best friend is here, I have made wonderful new relationships here, I have a great house that I love (most of the time), I have a great job and of course, the best part, I live here with the love of my life, my husband Beau (who is, I might add, an Oxnard kid too). But, I do find myself daydreaming of being home again. I miss the beaches, the mountains, the diversity of its residents, skate punks and aging hippies alike. I miss bonfires at the beach, strolling through the many, many shops on Hollywood Blvd. and Melrose. I miss the farmers markets. Hell, I even miss the old Mexican ladies who hawk homemade tamales on Sunday afternoons. I realize now how much I took it all for granted. As a kid, it never occured to me that there was any other way of life.

I do really love living here in OK, but I can't imagine growing up here. Furthermore, I can't imagine growing old here. I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I do know, I need a beach or a mountain range to marvel at. The sweeping windy plains of OK are alright for now, but I can't see myself staying here forever. Will I go back to California? Unless we have LOTS of money, it is quite doubtful, but, I do know I don't want to die in OK.

More medical crapiola

I have yet another follow up on my toes today. They are healing but very VERY slowly. I was thinking about them last night. I am so used to caring for them and being conscious of them, that I don't know if I will ever be normal again. I mean, am I going to roll up my pants leg to get me feet in for the rest of my life? When walking about barefoot, will I always attempt to point my big toes skyward? Will I always be acutely aware of how close someone is standing in proximity to my feet? I don't know, but it sure is getting old.

On another note, I am meeting with a Diabetic Educator this afternoon. I am looking forward to this as I have no idea what I am doing. As far as my diet is concerned, all I know to do is to cut out the obvious. Sugar, pasta, white bread etc... But other than that I am floundering. It's a good thing I like salad. Right now I am enjoying a breakfast bowl from Carl's Jr. that Lashell was good enough to get for me. It's like a breakfast sandwich without the bread. Don't get me wrong, it's good, but, it's no sammich. *sigh*.

But, I digress, it could be much worse. While diabetes is a life-long disease, it is also a controllable one and I will live a long, happy life with a few modifications and some meds. I seriously need to get off my big, fat, white ass and do some exercise. I really want to start walking, but I cannot get into my walking shoes with my damned toes like this. I know it sounds like an excuse, but my feet get really sore and tired if I try to walk in these sandals I have been wearing. Bleh... I need to stop complaining!!

A musical meme

Answer the following questions using only the song titles from a chosen musician or band.

1. Musician I chose:
   Queen
   
   
2. Are you male or female?
   Foxy Lady (I know it was a Hendrix tune, but they did a remake and I am counting it)
   
   
3. Describe yourself:
   Fat Bottom Girls
   
   
4. How do some people feel about you?
   Friends Will be Friends
   
   
5. How do you feel about yourself?
   I'm Going Slightly Mad
   
   
6. Describe your ex:
   See What a Fool I've Been
   
   
7. Describe your current significant other:
   You're My Best Friend
   
   
8. Describe a best friend:
   Bohemian Rhapsody
   
   
9. Describe some one who is no longer your friend:
   Where Are You Now
   
   
10. Describe where you want to be:
    Freedom Train
    
    
11. Describe how you live:
    Lazing On a Sunday Afternoon
    
    
12. Describe how you love:
    Love Me Like There's No Tomorrow
    
    
13. What would you ask for if you had just one wish?
    The Millionaire Waltz
    
    
14. Share a few words of wisdom:
    Stop All the Fighting
    
    
15. Now say goodbye:
    Don't Look Back