Not how I thought my morning would go

I made a doctor's appointment this morning. I have had this bad ass little bastard cyst on my back for years. (Left side, near the shoulder.) Decades really. It has given me trouble twice before. It has been dormant for more than 10 years, until recently. Little bastard came back with a vengeance.

So, as I stated previously, I made a doctor's appointment. I got there a bit early, was taken in fairly quickly and Dr. English came in, in about 3 minutes. A record for any Dr. visit I have ever made. She looked at it and said "Oh my lord! What is it?" (You have to know Dr. English and her sense of humor.) She felt it, and looked at it for a second and said "We can't let this go any longer. I am going to go see if the procedure room is free." I said "Seriously? Now?" "Yep," she said "why wait?" and she was off.

Back in a minute or 2. "Lets go do this thing." *groan* "O-k"

In the procedure room, lying on my stomach, she starts in with the lidocaine shots. "SONNA OF A..!!!" Damn! I hate those freakin lido shots!!! She shoots the vile stuff all around and in the little bastard. *breathe breathe breathe*. My hands are sweating, my ears are ringing, I am in fact a tad nauseous at this point. She pokes at me a little bit. "Feel this?" ~"No"~ "How about this?" ~ "No" ~ "And thi..." ~"OW!!"~ "OK, more lidocaine"

There was so much pressure in the little bastard, that one of the shots actually backed up and shot lidocaine all over the room.

"Holy crap!" I said, and started busting up.

Finally I am numbed up. Dr. English starts cutting, and digging, and then... the tugging. This went on for a good 35 to 40 minutes. The little bastard had abscessed and was so big and divided, that she was unable to take it out in one piece. She put the biggest chunk in a little plastic jar, and the nurse showed it to me. Weird looking little bastard.

Finally Dr. English said, "OK, I'm done."

My whole body relaxed in one breath. I didn't realize how tense I had been until then. I had my arms crossed under my chin, and when I lifted my hands, they were drenched in sweat and wrinkled from being wet. My mascara had smudged all up over my eye and I was shaking like a leaf. I looked great!!! LOL. But it was done and I was ready to be done.

She gave me a script for an antibiotic and sent me on my way with some packing gauze and after care instructions. Because the little bastard was so big and abscessed, she could not suture me up. So, I have a big gaping wound on my back. Luckily my husband was a medic in the Army, so he can help me take care of it without getting all grossed out. I will be changing the outer dressing tonight, and will be changing the packing tomorrow morning. For now, I am feeling the numbness wearing off and am trying not to move that side of my body too much.

Meantime, the little chunk of the little bastard is in a jar, in my handbag. Smugly floating in there as though nothing happened. I can hear it laughing. Little bastard.