I know it has been a long time since my last post. Since I was fired, I have found myself a bit withdrawn. I think if it wasn't for the Wellbutrin I may have become agoraphobic. I found that I didn't want to go out in public, for fear that everyone that I saw would know that I was fired. Weird, I know, and I keep telling my rational self that "these people don't even know me!" and who cares if they do.
Anyway, my unemployment has finally kicked in, and I am getting $$ every week. I am getting but a smidgen less than I did while I was working at ACME. So, it's all good. For now. I know that I will have to go back the the grind someday, but I don't see anything wrong with enjoying the time off I have now. I really LOVE being a housewife. (Good god!! Did I say that??) But truly, I love taking care of my house and my husband. I get all the laundry done, I make his lunches and dinner is waiting for him when he gets home. ( Oh my gawd, I AM sick!!) :-) I never knew I was so traditional. It's quite amazing. I do admit that there are times when I am lonely and bored here alone all day, I am hoping I can find some kind of hobby to keep me occupied during the day. My dear friend Debbie suggested bowling the other day, and there is a bowling alley really close to our house. I LOVE bowling, but Beau is not fond of it, so maybe this would be a great opp for me to take it up again. Anyway, I wanted to keep you all updated on stuff, and to let you know that I am doing OK.
My good friend Steph has said that he wants to come up and stay a weekend next month, so I am looking forward to that. It will be WAY, to be able to just blow it out.
Thursday, April 15, 2004
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I've been on WB for only two weeks and I already feel a difference, even during the greatest time of upheaval and stress I think I've known in many years. I'm also losing weight, eating less, drinking less, and waking up awake rather than in a fog. These are things my doctor told me I could look forward to. The weight thing alone is worth it!
I've struggled with agoraphobia for years without number -- why do you think I wear sunglasses everywhere I go, whether I need to or not? :^)
Enjoy your time at home. Tell that little judge and critic in your head to shut up, and take time to be gentle with yourself. The Ant Farm will be there when you have to deal with it again.
As for me, I'm being forced to live one day at a time. Cliche, yes, but borrowing from the future destroys the present.
If you need me, all you have to do is call. Goddess knows I could use a shrink right now myself!
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