Among several other thoughts than ran through my mind while I was under the influence of nitrous oxide, the one that stands out the most is my minds ramblings about the "degrees" of friendship.
Somehow in our up bringing, we are taught that, no matter how many friends you may have, there is always "The BEST friend". Do you ever feel guilty because you don't know how to "categorize" your friendship with someone? It's ridiculous. I have so many friends. Are we expected to prioritize our affection? Are we really expected to love people based on some imaginary scale?
The other afternoon my friend Jaeson stopped by my office. We had a great conversation about friendship. It was like an epiphany for me. I said to him, "I don't make friends, I fall in love." I had never said those words before. I had never really analyzed the subject. Yet I found the words falling from my lips as though I had known this all my life. But it's the truth. All the great relationships in my life have been love at first sight. Meaning, there isn't really a "warming up period". You are in or you are not. Maybe that sounds crappy, but I also have a philosophy that, I am not willing to waste my time if it isn't forever. I don't have time for strays. That being said...
...What is the basis for a great friendship? Commonalities? Contradictions? And what makes any one friend more "important" than another? Does time and space diminish the friendship? Do we place value on our friends based on what they can give us?
I am blessed with so many people in my life that love me. How do I choose "the best"? It seems so silly, so sophomoric, and yet it is something we carry through out all our lives. I have more than one best friend. All for different reasons.
Who is your best friend? And why?
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6 comments:
To me "best" signifies a great bond with that person in one way or another. We obviously have that bond in many ways. I have other "best" friends for other reasons and there is not one that is more important than the other, just as you have more than one pair of favorite shoes, you may not like one more than the other, but you like them both for different reasons. And that is my profound moment of the day!
In the days when long distance phone calls actually cost some money, I used to judge friendship from afar by who would call you long distance. That metric is useless now, but if they visit, then that's a good sign. This is hard to use against my friends with kids.
Three basic ways to judge any friendship is if they're reliable and will do things for you without expecting anything in return, and if they call you to hang out once in a while.
Y'know, I really hate it when the uncooked brownie in my HungryMan frozen dinner spills over in the mashed potatoes.
My best friend understands why I would post this comment to this particular entry.
I don't want to sound too pathetic but I really don't have any friends that are not also relatives. I like your perspective of "falling in love". If you fall into romantic love why can't you also fall into platonic love. I fall into platonic love fairly easily but I rarely run into anyone who feels the same way about me. I'm just everyone's casual acquaintance.
LOL Steph!!!
oo, I like you already darling. And I totally agree on how unfair the idea of choosing a "best" friend is. I have many. Some are best friends because they have known me since I was 6 years old, and have a complete view of who i was and how I have become who I am more than anyone else can. We have little in common now, but there is an innate knowledge of each other that binds. Other best friends have been there while we were both going through major emotional/important parts of our lives. The more the merrier I say (is that how you spell merrier? Why does it look so weird?)
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