Happy Valentines day

Beau, Steph, Lashell, Lynette, Heather, Shandi, Nathan, Lauren, Asher, Nathan, Joel, Jayce, Allen, Jaeson, Micah, James, Jan, Joshua, Robert, Rhonda, David, Lisa, Kari-Anne, Jackie, Paul, Karma, Terry, Morgan, Alvin, Megan, Quinn, Eric, George, Cteev, Dan, Debbie, Bob SK, Steve, Sharon, Kathy, Emerald..... and so many others. The way I see it, once love is put out there, it's out there forever.

Hope today and everyday is filled with love of every kind.

Farewell Roy Scheider

Good bye Roy. Thanks for scaring me out of the water when I was a kid. Thanks for letting the whole world know the meaning of "Jazz Hands". Thanks for letting us know what it's like to be the rainmaker. Thanks for making 7-up yours.

Sonofamotherfuckingshitpisshell

So... I get home from work today. Feed the out door cats, change into my PJs, turn on oven to preheat for dinner, unload dishwasher, get chicken out of fridge and arrange on a sheet pan for baking, begin to load dishwasher... when I hear a loud, strange noise coming from the utility room. It sounds sort of like pouring cold water into a very hot pan. I run to investigate. Thinking it may be the furnace, I rush to turn the furnace off. No, still making the noise, and worse. Now I smell gas. It's the water heater. Literally, this is what is coming out of my mouth,

"Oh shit, oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck" as I am running around like a crazy person trying to figure out where the fucking emergency shut off is for the gas.

OK, I don't know how to shut it off, so, realizing that this is REALLY happening, and could turn out really badly, I started scooping up cats. I got Einstein and threw him in the car, then went after Figaro (who was none too happy about this) and I get him in the car too. I go after Cosmo, but she is not about to get near me, as she can see I am clearly not with it at the moment. She ran inot the bedroom, so I shut the bedroom door. OK, this won't help her if the house blows up, but she won't die of gas poisoning.

(In my head):
"Now what, now what?"
"OHHH... call 911." So I call 911.
"911. What is your emergency?"
"MY WATER HEATER JUST DID A WEIRD. IT'S LEAKING AND I SMELL GAS. I CANNOT FIND THE SHUT OFF AND I AM FREAKING OUT!"
"Are you the only one in the house?"
"YES, WELL NO, I MEAN I AM THE ONLY HUMAN."
"Ok, I am sending the fire department out to you ok? You need to get out of the house ok?"
"OK, OK. Yeah, I will get out of the house."

So I grab my purse, my keys and a jacket and go outside. I hear the sirens, they are getting closer. Then they pull in. I was impressed, less than 3 minutes. Anyway, they go in, shut off the gas and the water to the water heater and tell me that the water heater needs replacing.

So, at the moment we are without hot water, but think what could have happened had this occured while I was at work today.

Jesus fucking whipped garbanzo beans
It was a rush!!

9 Things that piss me right the *&%$ off and just wear me out

In no particular order.

1. People that apply for a job because they "Really need a job, because I have a family to feed and bills to pay..." and then don't fucking go to work when I find them a job.

2. People that bitch about money, but have a housekeeper and have their car professionally detailed once a week. Hey, Fuck you buddy, yeah, fuck you very much.

3. Asshats that park their cars sideways, taking up 3 spaces. Selfish inconsiderate pricks.

4. 2 hour parking at the DMV, the Walk in Clinic and the Social Security office. I mean really, we all know I will be here longer than that.

5. "Feed the Children" ads. Am I an uncaring biotch because I believe we should feed OUR children first????

6. People that abandon their pets when they are tired of them. These are the same people that have been raised, or are currently raising their children to be careless with what they have, as it can be replaced anyway right??

7. Hearing about Brittney Spears every 5 minutes, and calling it NEWS!!!

8. Onions on my Whopper, when I clearly asked for none.

9. Soy Milk. (What? Soy beans have tits now?)

*siiighhhh*

Better now, thanks!!

Big relief

It's finally happened. The hubby found a steady job. He will be opening an office here in Stillwater OK, for an insurance agency based out of Arkansas.

Advantage One was a competitor when Beau was working for ABIA in Tulsa and OKC. Long story short, the owner of Advantage One always had a great respect for Beau and how he ran his offices. He and Beau, through happenstance, ran into one another via a message board on Yahoo. When He (the owner of A1) found out that Beau was a free agent, he nearly pissed himself with glee, because he wanted him to work for his company.

Not only that, but A1's new office was to be located in Stillwater. SO, when A1 found out Beau was a resident, he practically crawled through the phone lines to get Beau to sign on. After all the legalities and scouting for a location, the new office will be open on Feb 1. Beau will actually start his first day Jan 29, to set up shop and make sure the new office is ready for business.

I have not said anything to anyone about this, because for the last 10 months we have been through a roller coaster of "great opportunities" that never seemed to come to fruition.

Insert WHEW here.

Its that time of year again! The Darwin Awards

Oh my GOD. They live among us!!!!!!

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the Honorable Mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of their men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered every one waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious Head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received The injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER:

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Selfless Meme

1. Post a note about a blogger you would like to see something wonderful happen for. Maybe one whose posts have touched your heart in one way or another. Include details as to why you admire them and what you wish for them. Be as supporting and affirming as you can.

I cannot think of anyone more deserving than The Incurable Insomniac. Not only is this person my favorite blogger, but also happens to be my bestest friend in the world. Steph has worked so hard for so many years. Not just in the conventional sense of the "working world", but more importantly, he has worked his ass off creating music and the written word to better all of us as the human race. Those intangible creations that make us all better people, if we would just pay attention. What I wish for Steph more than anything, is that he gain the respect and accolades he so rightfully deserves. Not just financially ( though I know he knows that would be nice) :-) But the recognition for all that he has done. Steph has given me the gift of laughter, knowledge, wisdom and the most precious of all gifts, his friendship. I am a better person for just knowing him.

2. Post your favorite memory around selflessness, giving, or doing for others. Something that has actually changed you.

When I first moved to Colorado, my then husband and I moved into a mobile home that had been "founded" to the land, 13 miles above the town of Golden. It was December, we had no heat and very little of anything else. Close to Christmas, we found a basket of food sitting next to our mailbox. In it was a ham, tea, coffee, some jams, crackers and cookies and a myriad of other yums. There was a card attached that read "Ho ho ho, you'll never know". To this day I still don't know who left it for us. I was so touched by the gesture. I try to remember this when I come across someone who is in a low place in their life. When I have been able to, I have done the same for others.

3. As a postscript, name one thing you will actually do for someone in your life before December 31 that is born out of joy.

The only thing I can do, is make sure that the people around me know that I love them and care for them. Something I try to do on a regular basis anyway.