My exciting life... a day's review

Woke up to the thunder clap.
Stumbled to the bathroom to pee.
Stumbled to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee...one sweet and low with milk.
Went down to the living room to watch the news for a bit.
Started a load of laundry.
Made the bed.
Took a shower.
Switched the laundry, then decided to rearrange the bedroom closet. It looks good!
Sorted through my socks and chonies, throwing out the old and worn out.
Much to my chagrin I have a revelation that my husband is right, socks do fit better if you fold them rather than ball them. Besides, I also discovered that if you leave socks in a ball long enough, it stretches out the elastic, and then you have to throw them away. But mostly, I just hate to admit he was right.

*sigh*

Chatted with Steph for a few minutes.
Put away more laundry... started the last load (it is drying now).
Ate some lunch (sammich and cheesy rice washed down with a grape soda).
Now typing this boring blog entry while also watching/listening to the Ellen show. WOW, someone found this lady's cat after 7 years!! Ellen gives the lady some new cat toys to take home to her long lost pussy.

Future plans:
Put the dishes away.
Put away the last load of laundry.
Vacuum the carpets.
Watch Oprah.
Wipe down various surfaces.
Start dinner.
Greet hubby home from work.
Eat dinner.
Watch hubby play Pokemon video game.
Go to bed.

I just can't stand all the excitement. Now, I have no idea what I will do tomorrow. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know.

Rain today, then cleared... then rained again

I awoke this morning to a very loud crash of thunder. Not the best way to wake up, but I do love a good T-Storm. OK, so maybe I am a little weird, but I am a bit of a severe weather junkie. T-Storms, blizzards, hail storms and yes even Tornadoes. I know tornadoes tend to scare the hell outta people. With good reason. This weekend last year several devastating tornadoes swept through Leavenworth county and the surrounding areas causing a great deal of destruction. Of course I wouldn't want anything like this to happen again.

I think I just enjoy the energy that comes from storms like this. Just keep them in open fields away from people! So, anyway it has been raining all day so far, and the forecast calls for more rain, perhaps even into tomorrow.

It's so green outside, and everything looks so clean and crisp. Oh and the smell! Sweet and earthy. I wish it could be bottled up and saved for the hellish summer that lay ahead. *sigh* But alas, I know it won't last, so I will enjoy every second of it while it is here.Take time to stop and smell the world!

Springtime for Hitler

Springtime for Hitler

by Ville

Last night Butterflydeb and I went to see the musical "The Producers" at the Kansas City Music Hall. She had won the tickets from her fave radio station. How cool that she picked me to go with her! Opening night no less!

Well, we went last night. What a blast! For those of you unfamiliar with the material, "The Producers" is a Mel Brooks movie made in 1968, starring Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel. They portray Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom, 2 lonely desperate souls who meet by chance, then cook up a scheme to make millions by producing the WORST show ever to be done on Broadway. The script they find is offensive and ridiculous to say the least. They set off to hire the worst director and the most inexperienced actors. Whats the name of the musical?? "Springtime for Hitler" of course. A play written by a delusional ex-SS who insists that Hitler was a kind and misunderstood man, and that, of course, Germany WON!

This musical within the musical has to be the funniest 15 minute scene set to music that I have ever seen! Keeping in mind that this is Mel Brooks, the entire musical was predictable, offensive and irreverent. But his tongue and cheek method of writing always seems to bring it all into perspective. That is to say, in great Brooksian style, he has a way of shouting "Get over yourself, this is funny shit!"Of course he leaves no one out, he makes fun of Jews, Germans, Gays, Blacks, Irish and in this one even little old ladyies aren't spared. But done so well, and with such humor and satire, that I would find it hard to believe if anyone could be "truly" offended.

Of course, as predicted, their sure fire flop is an unmitigated success and they both end up in Sing Sing. I hope that if any of you get the chance to see this that they do so. Deb and I had such a great time, and I was amazed at how the 3 hour production flew by! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Another one of those days...

I've had another Cteeve day today. Not an all day thing. Beau and I did yard work this morning. He mowed, then I decided to rake up the spent grass, then together we bagged it up. After this we had our Sunday Hot Dogs (our tradition), then we headed off to Blockbuster to find a Video game. (It's what we do). As many of you know, the Blockbuster stores have video monitors all over their stores. Usually, to play the latest video release. But, today our local Blockbuster was playing the movie "Labyrinth". One of my top 5 fave movies, and also the movie that spawned the "our song" between Cteev and I. Not really a romantic kind of thing, but a symbol of our friendship. The lyrics are... Please forgive the size of the font as I cut and pasted.

As the world falls down
There's such a sad love
Deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel
Open and close
Within the sky I'll place the sky within your eyes
There's such a fooled heart
Beating so fast in search of new dreams
A love that will last within your heart
I'll place the moon within your heart

CHORUS:
As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill is gone
Wasn't too much fun at all
But I'll be there for you
As the world falls down
Falling
(As the world) Falling down
Falling in love

I'll paint you mornings of gold
I'll spin you Valentine evenings
Though we're strangers till now
We're choosing the path between the stars
I'll leave my love between the stars

CHORUS
Falling
(As the world) Falling down
Falling
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling in love
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling
Falling in love
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling
Falling

Makes no sense at all
Makes no sense to fall

For us, it truly did "make no sense to fall". I miss him, I miss him everyday of my life.

Anyway.

When I saw what was playing at Blockbuster I couldn't figure out why they were playing such an old movie. I even asked Beau "I wonder why they are playing this??" It was later , when the whole soundtrack was in my head (you know how it is) that it hit me. Cteev was talking to me. I had forgotten about "our song". He found a way to remind me and to talk to me. I have this feeling that he will not be around much longer. I mean this is the spiritual sense, although he will be present for a few more months. I was almost asleep, and he decided to get me out of bed. Typical.

More to come

An Update

I know it has been a long time since my last post. Since I was fired, I have found myself a bit withdrawn. I think if it wasn't for the Wellbutrin I may have become agoraphobic. I found that I didn't want to go out in public, for fear that everyone that I saw would know that I was fired. Weird, I know, and I keep telling my rational self that "these people don't even know me!" and who cares if they do.

Anyway, my unemployment has finally kicked in, and I am getting $$ every week. I am getting but a smidgen less than I did while I was working at ACME. So, it's all good. For now. I know that I will have to go back the the grind someday, but I don't see anything wrong with enjoying the time off I have now. I really LOVE being a housewife. (Good god!! Did I say that??) But truly, I love taking care of my house and my husband. I get all the laundry done, I make his lunches and dinner is waiting for him when he gets home. ( Oh my gawd, I AM sick!!) :-) I never knew I was so traditional. It's quite amazing. I do admit that there are times when I am lonely and bored here alone all day, I am hoping I can find some kind of hobby to keep me occupied during the day. My dear friend Debbie suggested bowling the other day, and there is a bowling alley really close to our house. I LOVE bowling, but Beau is not fond of it, so maybe this would be a great opp for me to take it up again. Anyway, I wanted to keep you all updated on stuff, and to let you know that I am doing OK.

My good friend Steph has said that he wants to come up and stay a weekend next month, so I am looking forward to that. It will be WAY, to be able to just blow it out.

The Axe Falleth

Well, I went into work yesterday after having been gone Monday and Tuesday due to what I can only describe to you as a severe cold (still sick as a dog I might add), and much to my surprise, The LongBob fired me. I cannot express to you my shock!! I couldn't even say a word. I just stared at him blankly for a few seconds and then proceeded to pack up my stuff. I never in a million saw this coming. I know he did this because I had already told him I was quitting. My 2 day absence was just his perfect excuse.

He said "When you aren't here, Nicole has to pick up your slack." He said more but to be honest with you, I don't remember what he said as I was locked into some strange surreal world at the time. I am still in shock I think, but it is beginning to wear off.

Beau pointed out yesterday, "How stupid, if Nicole has to work harder because you aren't there, how much harder will she have to work now?" Good point. I can assure you though, that Nicole had nothing to do with this. Its his M.O. He wants me to think that Nicole complained. He won't come right out and say that, because it isn't true, but he wanted to insinuate this nonetheless. Makes it easier on him to think it was someone else's problem, not that he is just a 2 faced invertebrate.

Here are the real reasons he fired me:

1. I'm quitting anyway and he thinks people that quit are somehow betraying him. (I have known him long enough to know this to be true)
2. Even if I wasn't leaving, he know I am planning on getting pregnant. Something he sees as a bother.
3. Quarterly bonuses are due, and why give a bonus to someone who is leaving.

Those are the big 3. I don't want any of you thinking I am making any of this up. I will be the first one to 'fess up when I fuck up. I am not saying I was perfect, we all make mistakes. But I never gave him good reason to let me go. I have been there for almost 4 years. I have seen what he does to his employees when he percieves them as a threat or a traitor. I have heard the things he says behind the backs of others. He will tell outright lies to co-workers in an attempt to make some poor unsuspecting person look like a common idiot, or to insinuate laziness, or even attempt to convince another person that they have been "wronged" in some way. Its craziness!!

You have all probably known someone like this in your life. As easy going and nice as can be when you are in the room, and then slams you to others as soon as you turn your back. All I have ever asked of him is that he come to ME if he has a problem with something I am doing. But he refuses. He tells others in the office, hoping they will say something to me. He has done the same to me, telling me about how so and so needs to shape up, or whatever. But never telling so and so anything. How are we supposed to know how to better ourselves if we don't know we are making mistakes???? Its sooooooo fucking stupid!!! He knows I have house payments, bills etc... But no compassion. How does he sleep at night?

So, I'm freaking out a little bit. My pendulum swinging sharply between relief and anxiety. It's no secret I wanted out of there. But I wanted that decision to be on my terms. I guess he couldn't handle that either. I have applied for unemployment. I did that first thing, but that takes like 4 weeks to kick in. But, as I am going through my bills and shit, it will be tight, but we will be ok. My final check from ACME goes through tomorrow, as well as Beaus check. We still have a little bit in savings, and I just got off the phone with Beau who informed me that he got Senior Agent of the Month for February, and that comes with a bonus.

We are quitting smoking soon, which will save us quite a bit per month, and I am not driving 66 miles a day, which will save in gas ($1.72 per gallon here now!). By the end of four weeks I will either be drawing unemployment, or I will once again have a paycheck. Right now I have to get over this bad nasty head cold. So I am planning on getting as much rest as I can and doing some stuff around the house that I have not had time for. So don't worry, we will be fine. I just wanted to let y'all know what was happening.

Rocky Mountain High

I had a conversation yesterday with a co-worker who is planning a vacation to Colorado this summer. I started telling her about all the wonderful things to do and see. I realized about 5 minutes into the conversation that I had actually sort of perked up when I was talking about it. I guess I hadn't really realized how much I loved living there. Or how much I missed it. I found myself saying out loud, "Jeez, one would wonder why I ever left".

The reason I did leave was that at the time, I had nothing to stay there for. My now ex-husband and I had split up, my best friend Steph had moved back to California and I was working at McDonald's, which was hardly a career. So, I up and moved to Kansas with a girl I knew and we got an apartment in Overland Park, Kansas. It was cheaper to live here and I knew a few people out here. So at the time it made sense.

Of course, the REAL reason I moved here was to meet the love of my life. Though I didn't know it at the time. Now, several years later, the love of my life and I are now married and have bought a house. So I guess we really did put down roots here. I don't mind Kansas too much. Though we have very few friends here, (good friends!) and there is nothing of beauty to reference to. What I mean by that, is that in California we had the beaches and the mountains, in Colorado there is of course the Rocky Mountains, not to mention all the great tangible history that resides all around you.

This morning on the way to work while surfing the stations on my stereo, there was some redneck proclaiming in a loud voice, "2nd annual cow pie tossing contest and barn dance!!" The first words out of my mouth were "Holy crap, what the f%^$ am I DOING here???!! I love my house, and I love the life that my husband and I are building together, but more and more I find myself not wanting to be in Kansas.

It is not my intention to insult anyone who is from Kansas. It has it's good points, just like anywhere, and it has it's bad points, just like anywhere. But I don't belong here. I don't belong in a place where every other radio station is country music. I don't belong in a place that broadcasts Christian "services" on the #1 rock and roll station on Sunday mornings. I don't belong in a Republican conservative state that tells me I cannot buy beer on Sundays (yes, yes, I know it is changing, but it should have NEVER been a law to begin with.) I don't belong in a state where tractor pulls are the best thing happening on a Saturday afternoon and cow pie tossing contests, well, where cow pie tossing contests even EXIST! Like I said, no offense to anyone who grew up here, but this is just not who I am.

Perhaps this is a mood that will pass. This time of year always makes me think of home. Cool breezy evenings sitting around the fire pit in my friend's back yard, drinking wine and indulging in nature's herb. Singing silly songs without the thought that it would ever end. Or the days that The Berg and I would drive to Boulder to drink beer at one of the many sidewalk cafes, and people watch. Oh we had so much fun.

So as I write this, I am struck with a thought that perhaps, and probably, it is not the places I am missing, but the people. I miss my friends. I miss the weekends that turned into weeks. I miss Cteev farting on my head. I miss Lisa and I getting together for our candy buffet. I miss Dave Reeds big cheesy grin. I miss Paul Boat's droll sense of humor. (It's just not the same in an e-mail.) I miss being able to jump in my car and be at Berg's house in 20 minutes. *Sigh* I hope you will forgive my lamenting. More of a rambling I guess, just to get this out of my head. Anyway, this too, like all things, shall pass.