On taking food from strangers...

Some guys from a local church came into my office today, selling banana bread.

My response: "I don't take home made food from strangers."
One guy's response: "Oh, it's ok, we're Christians."
My response: "Well, THAT doesn't mean anything."
Their response... blank stares.
My response: shrug and walk away. I don't think they got it.

Reminded me of something that happened here at work last year.

It was the Friday after Thanksgiving and myself and a co-worker were volunteered to pull payday duty. These 2 yahoos come in with a bucket of suckers asking for donations for some Christian church.

My response: "I don't donate to churches."
One guy asks, "Why?"
My response: "I'm not a Christian."
One guys asks, "Then what ARE you?"
My response, not in a terribly pleasant tone: "I'm a PERSON."

Even my co-worker was dumbfounded by the ridiculous and insulting question. I think his buddy was embarrassed too. He looked at the guy and just said, "Let's go."

Here's what I have to say about that:
I don't need your religion, I don't need to be fucking saved, I don't donate to your crooked churches and I don't want your fucking banana bread!!

I think I do just fine as a good human being walking around on this crappy little ball of mud we call earth. I'm good to people, I love and care about my friends and family and I believe whole heartedly in the golden rule. I live far more Christ like than MOST Christians I have ever met. Yet somehow I am the one going to your dreamt up flaming hell?

So please, and I mean this in all sincerity and with a loving heart. To all you banana bread hawking, sucker toting money grubbing hypocrites KISS MY PAGAN ASS!!

Ahhhh... Better. Thank you.