Had a BBQ on Sunday. We had such a great time! At least I think we did. I know I did. I hope everyone did. We cued 3 big ol slabs of meat and had beans, bread, deviled eggs and the obligatory veggie trays. Surprisingly, most of the veggies got eaten which is kind of unusual.
All the usual suspects attended, Steph and Lynette and their three teens, Lauren, Heather and Nathan. Megan came down from Kansas. Lashell made it just as we sat down to eat and it made the evening perfectly well rounded.
After dinner we all sat out on the patio with our respective drinks and "did the weirds". We played hangman, drew silly (not to mention disgusting) pictures and made up silly songs. We laughed and carried on. Just like the good old days. I had gone out and found a seeded water melon so that we could have a seed spitting contest, but we got too busy being stupid, that we never even cut the water melon. Oh well!! Thanks everybody for making this weekend so fun and memorable!!
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Swords or shields
There is someone in my past that has sprung to thought quite a lot lately. He and I were so close once. There was a time when we did everything together. We loved one another passionately, yet for some reason felt the constant need to tear one another down.
For the most part we were pretty good at building back up again, but after years of mutual abuse, it had become tiresome and (not without prompting) I finally walked away, figuratively tearing my shirt and having done with him. That was 8 years ago.
Though he and I have seen one another once since then, and even made an attempt to undo the damage, at the time it all seemed too little too late. But now I find myself wanting to reconnect. Not to bring things back to the way they were. That is neither possible nor desirable. But rather to open up a dialog with him once again. Start fresh.
We are both now pushing 40. We were both teenagers when we met. Two wounded souls grasping to make sense of this crappy, wonderful, hellishly sweet little world we live in. We both made a lot of mistakes, but, how does one forget years of love, laughter and devotion? Am I mistaken? Am I a fool? Will it be too much to hope for? As an adult, looking back, I realize now that it wasn't swords with which we chose to battle, but shields.
If you are reading this PTB, I would like to finally put down the defenses and get to know YOU.
For the most part we were pretty good at building back up again, but after years of mutual abuse, it had become tiresome and (not without prompting) I finally walked away, figuratively tearing my shirt and having done with him. That was 8 years ago.
Though he and I have seen one another once since then, and even made an attempt to undo the damage, at the time it all seemed too little too late. But now I find myself wanting to reconnect. Not to bring things back to the way they were. That is neither possible nor desirable. But rather to open up a dialog with him once again. Start fresh.
We are both now pushing 40. We were both teenagers when we met. Two wounded souls grasping to make sense of this crappy, wonderful, hellishly sweet little world we live in. We both made a lot of mistakes, but, how does one forget years of love, laughter and devotion? Am I mistaken? Am I a fool? Will it be too much to hope for? As an adult, looking back, I realize now that it wasn't swords with which we chose to battle, but shields.
If you are reading this PTB, I would like to finally put down the defenses and get to know YOU.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
The latest on the visit
Beau talked to his mom last night, and it turns out that she will be coming here with Em (that's my step-daughter). They will be coming on or around the 5th of July and leaving on the 10th. Only 5 days. *sigh* I'm so weird. As nervous and apprehensive as I had become about this, I am so disappointed that the visit will be so short. Also, as much as I love Beau's mom, I was kinda hoping for a little exclusivity. But Beau and I talked last night and he made a good point. For all intents and purposes, Em really doesn't know either one of us. She is close to her grandmother, and this way she will be comfortable having someone she knows with her. This will be the door opening for future visits.
I am so thrilled that Beau and Em have this chance to reconnect. It has been a long time coming and I just have all the optimism in the world that this is the new and fresh start they have both been needing for so long.
I am so thrilled that Beau and Em have this chance to reconnect. It has been a long time coming and I just have all the optimism in the world that this is the new and fresh start they have both been needing for so long.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Big changes ahead
Beau got a message from his mother last night that she has talked to his ex, and that arrangements have been made for his daughter to come stay with us. When, and for how long, we don't know yet. She turned 15 today and I don't know what to expect. I don't know her at all.
Needless to say, I am a bit apprehensive. Don't get me wrong, I am really looking forward to meeting her and getting to know her. I just don't have room in my life for teenage drama and conflict. With the diabetes, the ongoing toe healing, and now I found out I have advanced periodontal disease and will need to have 2 more of my teeth extracted. I am already doing 95% of all the housework, I do most of the cooking, and work full time. I'm tired a lot and don't feel so great much of the time. There will be some adjustment and changes in our life. Whether she stays for 2 weeks, or 2 months, or even 2 years. I have always been a dynamic person by nature, but at the same time I have become pretty content with the routine in my life.
Needless to say, I am a bit apprehensive. Don't get me wrong, I am really looking forward to meeting her and getting to know her. I just don't have room in my life for teenage drama and conflict. With the diabetes, the ongoing toe healing, and now I found out I have advanced periodontal disease and will need to have 2 more of my teeth extracted. I am already doing 95% of all the housework, I do most of the cooking, and work full time. I'm tired a lot and don't feel so great much of the time. There will be some adjustment and changes in our life. Whether she stays for 2 weeks, or 2 months, or even 2 years. I have always been a dynamic person by nature, but at the same time I have become pretty content with the routine in my life.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
To all the muthas out there
Happy Mammiotosis Day to all you Mothers out there. I hope it is a peaceful and joyful day full of love and appreciation.Friday, May 12, 2006
Stand up and say hi!
I have noticed a considerable jump in the number of visitors here in the last few weeks. I would love to know who is stopping by. Leave a comment and say howdy!! Let me know who you are and how you got here. I am really curious to know who has graced my space.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
More propaganda for poor behavior
There is another commercial out now that's just irritating as all hell.
Little girl standing in front of a roller coaster: "If I have to hug one more princess on my vacation, I'm gonna hurl."
Hmmm. How do you think the poor woman in the stupid princess costume feels?? "If I have to hug one more smug, snot nosed, spoiled, self centered brat I am going to puke!"
Seriously, that kid is lucky she even has the luxury of being on such a vacation. Her parents work and slave at their lousy jobs all year just so the little jerk can have a week of entertainment. I bet she never even said thank you. She probably thinks she somehow "deserves" it.
And when did this trend start? This trend of advertisers propagating poor behavior as normal and acceptable. It's appalling. No wonder kids today have such a twisted sense of entitlement. It has begun to spill into our society as this generation of lazy little f&*^&kers have begun to join the work force. No experience, lousy job history or no job history at all. But they want a cushy office job that pays $10.00 an hour. Uuuuumm. NO!
What are these parents teaching these kids?? What ever happened to "If you work hard and prove yourself, you can get all the things you want in life." Now it seems as though the mentality is "I want this and I don't want to have to work for it. Just give it to me." Well Bite Me! You get nothing. It seems so simple. Give nothing...get nothing. Jeez. Do the math.
Well, speaking of working, I guess I better do some.
Little girl standing in front of a roller coaster: "If I have to hug one more princess on my vacation, I'm gonna hurl."
Hmmm. How do you think the poor woman in the stupid princess costume feels?? "If I have to hug one more smug, snot nosed, spoiled, self centered brat I am going to puke!"
Seriously, that kid is lucky she even has the luxury of being on such a vacation. Her parents work and slave at their lousy jobs all year just so the little jerk can have a week of entertainment. I bet she never even said thank you. She probably thinks she somehow "deserves" it.
And when did this trend start? This trend of advertisers propagating poor behavior as normal and acceptable. It's appalling. No wonder kids today have such a twisted sense of entitlement. It has begun to spill into our society as this generation of lazy little f&*^&kers have begun to join the work force. No experience, lousy job history or no job history at all. But they want a cushy office job that pays $10.00 an hour. Uuuuumm. NO!
What are these parents teaching these kids?? What ever happened to "If you work hard and prove yourself, you can get all the things you want in life." Now it seems as though the mentality is "I want this and I don't want to have to work for it. Just give it to me." Well Bite Me! You get nothing. It seems so simple. Give nothing...get nothing. Jeez. Do the math.
Well, speaking of working, I guess I better do some.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Basics, bunco, beauty and bananas
Sometimes when one is so busy with work and shit, one forgets about the basics. Sometimes this job I have just stresses me out like nothing else. Monday was one of those days. I won't go into detail, just suffice it to say it was a sucky-ass day. But, that evening I went to Jeanette's daughters first dance recital. She is four.
At one point during her routine, she saw me in the audience and got this incredible sweet and happy smile on her face. I felt a little rush of joy wash over me as I thought about how important I have become to this child's life. Suddenly the crapiola at work didn't seem so damned important anymore.
But let me backtrack a little. The weekend leading up to the sucky-ass Monday was really a lot of fun. Friday, Jeanette and I went to play Bunco. She got me hooked on this monthly female gabfest a few months ago and I have been going with her ever since. I have never won anything, but it is allot of fun nevertheless.
The next morning we got up early and, along with her mom, drove to Tulsa for a Glamour Shots session. This took around 5 hours of the day, but we had such a great time! Getting all dolled up and playing celeb for a day. It did make me think about how difficult it must be to have to do this day in and day out. No wonder so many models suffer from exhaustion and dehydration. But the photos we all picked out are fabulous and I can't wait to get them. They should be coming in the mail in the next week or so. I will scan and post when I can. I'm feeling better and better these days, and it was neat to sort of portray that feeling on film.
I have had to change my diet a bit. Nothing as drastic as I had originally thought. Really more about portions than anything else. And I am eating allot of bananas. Well, at least one a day anyway. I usually eat one for breaky. Good thing I like them. But I swear one morning I am going to wake up with a pointy head and slick yellow skin!
Well, I suppose I need to get to work. I have been here for an hour and have accomplished nothing but this blog entry. Sometimes the boss frowns on behavior such as this. :-)
At one point during her routine, she saw me in the audience and got this incredible sweet and happy smile on her face. I felt a little rush of joy wash over me as I thought about how important I have become to this child's life. Suddenly the crapiola at work didn't seem so damned important anymore.
But let me backtrack a little. The weekend leading up to the sucky-ass Monday was really a lot of fun. Friday, Jeanette and I went to play Bunco. She got me hooked on this monthly female gabfest a few months ago and I have been going with her ever since. I have never won anything, but it is allot of fun nevertheless.
The next morning we got up early and, along with her mom, drove to Tulsa for a Glamour Shots session. This took around 5 hours of the day, but we had such a great time! Getting all dolled up and playing celeb for a day. It did make me think about how difficult it must be to have to do this day in and day out. No wonder so many models suffer from exhaustion and dehydration. But the photos we all picked out are fabulous and I can't wait to get them. They should be coming in the mail in the next week or so. I will scan and post when I can. I'm feeling better and better these days, and it was neat to sort of portray that feeling on film.
I have had to change my diet a bit. Nothing as drastic as I had originally thought. Really more about portions than anything else. And I am eating allot of bananas. Well, at least one a day anyway. I usually eat one for breaky. Good thing I like them. But I swear one morning I am going to wake up with a pointy head and slick yellow skin!
Well, I suppose I need to get to work. I have been here for an hour and have accomplished nothing but this blog entry. Sometimes the boss frowns on behavior such as this. :-)
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